Recently, my family left our church of ten years. It wasn't a swift decision, nor one made from anything anyone did. It's just that our church changed over time. We still love that church, and the people there. But we feel a bit like Abraham ... following God's leading without a clear destination.
As we visit churches, I'm finding an old enemy rearing its head in my heart: judgement.
God has convicted me of this dangerous sin over the years. Because sadly, it comes quite easily to me. It's starts with being quite opinionated. About everything. On one hand,my strong opinions keep me committed to my values and devoted to what and whom I love. I'm steadfast and loyal.
On the other hand, I can be critical.
Because I'm opinionated, I even have an opinion about being critical: it's really yucky because it keeps me from loving fully and being used by God fully.
So, my goal is to capture every critical thought before it sneaks past my mind and into my heart. You see, those initial thoughts aren't sin. It's what we do with those thought. It's letting critical thoughts marinate, and then season our choices of words and actions, that gets us into sin.
Back to the church visiting. I find I've got more opinions than I realized about music. Which isn't surprising since I've sung on worship bands for decades. But I've found myself critiquing the quality of the band and vocalists more than I should.
We've found one church we really like, but my husband and I both wish the worship band was a step-up in quality. This morning, I was thinking again about it and started considering what I would change if given a chance.
Before I could think another thought, God spoke clearly to me: What if I want it like that?
That effectively stopped my negative thoughts and redirected me. What if God wants that worship band just like it is? What if He intentionally called those people, at this time, to this act of service for a reason? Who am I to question His decisions? Or to judge His appointments?
Really, this question is good for me to remember when someone does something differently than I would.
God put me back into a place of following instead of trying to lead. And He stopped judgemental thoughts from going too far. If God decides to use me again in worship, it will be His choice. I know from experience He won't use me with thoughts like that.
So this morning I got a little talking-to from my Heavenly Father. He was gentle as always. And I needed to remember that God's doing just fine without my opinionated help.
In His Love,
Glynnis
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
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6 comments:
Wow---I'm in the same boat of looking for a new church after a wedding and move, and a few other reasons. I, like you, have been leading music and singing all my life, and grew up in a certain type of worship service, so I tend to compare every other service to that. Today's blog really hit home for me, that I've been doing the exact same thing---Thank you Lord for using Glynnis to speak to me too!
Momma always said, "Go where you are fed. And when you aren't fed anymore, find a place where you are."
I know exactly how you & your family feel. I guess sometimes you find that you aren't growing it's time to move on. It's not a sin to change churchs, and I bet this was a hard thoughtout decision that wasn't taken lightly. I commend you on your humility and courage to stand for what you think is right, I am the same way totally!
I can also be critical at times - so what the Lord said to you about "What if I want it like that?" is a lesson learned for me today!
Glynnis,
You and I are a lot alike in this regard. (And no, not musically.) I have a "keen eye" that certainly helps in many aspects of my life, but the flip side is my critical, judging eye. Ugh! Even when I don't want to do it, I still do. How I pray Jesus' grace is enough because I need a lot of it!
Thanks for your honesty and insight. I needed to hear this today.
Blessings and prayers,
Kelli
P.S. I wanted to tell you that your writing recently has been especially powerful and moving. God is surely using you. I thank Him for that...and for you.
We had this discussion with a group of friends last evening. Someone had made a critical statement about the direction our worship team was taking and my husband reminded them that our worship leader is young and that maybe God is molding and developing him. Thanks for the reminder and being so authentic with your words. You are an encourager!
Good for you for allowing yourself to listen to His voice. It is so easy to allow Satan to get us in one of his traps!!
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