What defines a champion?

Please keep reading for the winner of the basket of books giveaway.  But first, I wanted to share something that happened on Thursday. 

It's been a week of incredible highs and lows in my son Dylan's life.  And, as a mother - my life as well.

Dylan is a senior.  I'm getting a bit emotional as we face the "lasts" of everything in his high school career.  This last week was particularly challenging as he finished his last wrestling season ever with a trip to the state finals.

He almost didn't make it to state, but if you've read my blog in the past, you'll know he was prayed for by a coach and received miraculous healing to finish the season.  And he finished brilliantly - taking first place in one of the last tournaments and qualifying for state. 

What I haven't written about is how much sacrifice it took on his part to get to this point.  He's very hard working when it comes to training.  Besides that, he also has cut a lot of weight.  I will spare you the details, but suffice it to say that it's involved a lot of personal discipline and sacrifice.  As a result, his season was very successful with only a few losses.

Thursday was the first day of the state finals, and sadly he lost his first match.  He was disappointed but not crushed.  He knew the competition was a step above what he'd faced throughout the season.  He won his second match, but in the middle of the match something happened.  The other boy tripped Dylan, and Dylan fell twisting his knee.  The same knee that had been injured earlier in the season.

Dylan couldn't get up.  He lay face down on the mat for a few seconds, causing his coaches and trainer to run to his side.  After a few more seconds, Dylan managed to pull himself up.  He nodded his head at the coaches and ref, saying he was okay to finish.  On pure adrenalin, Dylan finished the match and won.  But not without injury. 

He limped off the mat, and one of his coaches almost carried him into the stands.  The trainer wrapped his knee in ice, and Dylan's face reflected the searing pain.  Thankfully there was a break, and the team went back to the hotel.  Dylan got carried.  During the break, the coaches cared for Dylan, and I know he received prayer again. 

But when they got back to the arena, Dylan was still in excruciating pain.  It is at this point that most people would have recommended Dylan not wrestle.  He could barely stand.  But I've learned something over the past years of parenting this young man.  He doesn't do what most people do.  So his grandmother, dad and I sat in the stands white knuckled.  I was just sick watching him limp onto the mat.  As much as Dylan tried to hide the pain, it was obvious.  I saw his face, and knew his opponent did too.  There would be no mercy.

The next six minutes were some of the hardest of my life.  My son was determined to not get pinned, and wrestled with all his heart.  He couldn't stand, but with tears he couldn't stop streaming down his face, he did the best he could.  But, although he lost the match, he didn't get pinned.  The crowd erupted in cheers for Dylan.  It was obvious to everyone that he finished that match like a champion.

By that point, I was sobbing.  And I wasn't the only one.  I don't think there was a member of his team that didn't get choked up, some didn't hide their tears.  They knew it was Dylan's last match, and they knew how hard he had worked.  It was heartbreaking.  One of the coaches picked my 6' son up like a baby and carried him to his team who surrounded him with love.  People he didn't know came up to him, commenting on his heart and fortitude.

I know Dylan doesn't feel like a champion today.  But I couldn't be prouder of him.  Facing a sure loss, he fought with everything he had left.  There was nothing else he could have done.  And it made me realize that a champion isn't defined by a medal, or award, or promotion, or contract, or anything else.  It's courage, determination and sacrifice that makes a champion.  And on Valentine's day, I'm recognizing how far one's heart can take them. 

In our family we've got our champion.  His name is Dylan.  And I couldn't be prouder if he had won first place.

This is Dylan the morning after the match.  He's enjoying a
4-layer Rice Crispy treat sandwich. 

There's also another winner to announce.  That's the winner of last week's book giveaway.  Based on a random number, "Everyday Blessings" has won.  I've sent a personal email, but just in case it didn't arrive, please email me personally at editor@proverbs31.org.

Thanks to everyone who entered.  I'm blessed that you took the time to read my blog, and share your favorite books.  I loved reading all your comments.

In His Love,

Glynnis

What NOT to do when facing disappointment (and a winner)

Right before Christmas a letter arrived from one of my publishers. Since I know most good news comes either by phone or email, I wasn't excited.  And, turns out, my instincts were right.  It wasn't good news.

Sadly, a year after it was released, my book, "When Your Child is Hurting" was being taken out of circulation. 

I knew the publisher took a risk on the topic, and me - truth be told.  And the weight of that decision sat heavy on me. My first response was tears, for several reasons.  The first was sadness that I disappointed the good people at the publishing house who invested in the book.  Second there was a personal sadness that I didn't make it work.  As much as I tried to hold off the negative thoughts about my writing and potential, a few snuck in. 

Even though I've got another book in the works, that one disappointment started to stain everything I believed about my calling to write. 

Maybe I'm just not cut out to write in this market.
Maybe my writing is boring.
Maybe I'm too boring to write in this market.

The day after I got the letter, I read this blog post by Seth Godin,

So I put on my big girl panties, (like my sweet friend Lysa likes to say), and decided that it wasn't the time to declare myself a failure.  It was the time to embrace hard, and dig in. 
 
Godin ended his post with these sentences:
 

The first five years of my solo business, when the struggle seemed neverending, I never missed a day, never took a nap. (I also committed to ending the day at a certain time and not working on the weekends. It cuts both ways.)

In short: show up.

Interesting how God knew I needed to hear those words on exactly that day.  God wasn't telling me "no" - I was. 

Perhaps someone else needs to hear these words today.  If you are facing something painful today, please don't give up - at least not now when your emotions are threatening.  I remembered something else a friend once told me:  "Don't doubt in the dark what you know to be true in the light."  


And now, abruptly changing the subject, I picked a winner completely at random for the gift basket from Rose Lane Cottage.  It will contain some little goodies that I'll tuck in for you.  The winner is Shelia Hall.  I've emailed you personally for your mailing address.

Thank you to everyone who took the time to post a comment.  I LOVED reading them.

In His Love,
Glynnis

Art is hard. Selling is hard. Writing is hard. Making a difference is hard.



When you're doing hard work, getting rejected, failing, working it out--this is a dumb time to make a situational decision about whether it's time for a nap or a day off or a coffee break.

Losing with dignity

Last night a man I admire lost in a very public arena.  It's one thing to fail in private, it's quite another to do so with thousands (maybe millions) watching.  But last night, my friend Ben Henderson, lost his WEC championship belt on national TV.  But did so with the ultimate dignity and grace.



Ben Henderson



Ben trains at the MMA Lab in my home town.  In fact, my husband and I are part owners there, so we feel particularly invested in Ben.  But my post isn't about me, it's about Ben.

We were privileged to be at the fight last night, cheering Ben on.  Ben has a lot of fans because he's a very honorable man - in the octagon and out.  He loves Jesus and he makes no apologies for it.  He lives a quiet life that reflects his faith.  But he's got a warrior spirit in him that comes out in a match. 

Sadly, last night wasn't his night.  His opponent was stronger last night.  Tonight if they fought again, it could end differently.  But last night Ben lost.

However, what impressed me most ... possibly even more than if he had won ... was how he conducted himself after the decision was announced.  Ben congratulated his opponent, then walked around the octagon showing signs of love and appreciation for his fans all around the arena.  I've never seen a fighter do that before. 

Ben modeled honor in losing. 

And it got me thinking about how I handle losing.   Of course, a lot is in how we define losing.  But there are a lot of situations that don't end as we would wish.  Lack of a job promotion.  "No" from a publisher.  Book sales that are low.  Rejection from someone we thought was a friend. 

"Losing" is a part of life.  How we handle it says a lot about us.  Will we walk in dignity or shuffle in pity. 

I'm sure Ben was sad and maybe mad.  As well he should be. But he didn't sacrifice honor.  He didn't sacrifice appreciation for his fans.  He didn't mar his testimony.

We'll be at the Lab at 5 p.m. today to let Ben know we still love and admire him.  He needs to know that, today more than ever. 

And he needs to know that in losing, he made an even bigger impact on some of us.

In His love,

Glynnis

Do you ever feel like a spiritual failure?

Some days I just get sick and tired of stumbling.  I get frustrated with myself for losing my temper, overlooking someone's feelings, or not being the sharpest tool in the shed.  Some days, I feel like quiting everything.

Do you ever feel that way?

Do you ever look at your life and think, "God could never use someone like me."  Do you ever feel like a spiritual failure?

How we answer this question can have significant impact on effective ministry. By ministry, I mean whatever God is calling you to do. Because if you do feel like a spiritual failure, my guess is at some point you stop trying.  Because, after all, what's the use?  You know you are just going to stumble again.

What if God doesn't see your "stumbles" the same way?  What if God looks at your life without your highest victories and lowest drops? Kind of like a teacher who allows you to drop your lowest grade.  What if God is looking more at the pattern of growth in your life?

He certainly did this for the heroes of our faith. Consider Abraham.  God promised to give a child to Abraham and Sarah.  Yet there were 25 childless years before God fullfilled the promise.   Was Abraham perfect during those years?   If you read Romans 2, you would think so:

"Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, 'So shall your offspring be.' Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead—since he was about a hundred years old—and that Sarah's womb was also dead. Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised."

Hold on a minute.  Did that just say "without weakening in his faith" and "he did not waver through unbelief"?  When we read the life of Abraham, we see a different man.  We know that Abraham actually didn't wait patiently for God to fulfill that promise, and had physical relations with his wife's maid, and subsequently fathered Ishmael.

As I read it,  Abraham wasn't the "perfect" example of a God-follower.  Yet through the Holy Scriptures, we are told that Abraham didn't weaken or waver.

That's how God saw Abraham.  In spite of Abraham's stumbles, God saw him as a man of faith.  By the time Abraham took his son Isaac to the altar, he had become a man of great faith.  But it was a process.  And it was the process that God saw and blessed.

I believe it's the same way with us.  Yes, we fall.  No, we aren't the perfect examples of God-followers.  We do have great days, and bad days.  But the most important thing is our progress.  Are we more faithful today than yesterday?

That's the question.  It's not a question of being a spiritual giant or spiritual failure.  Is our faith moving up and to the right?  That's what matters.

So today if you feel like a spiritual failure, read Romans 2.  There's some hope in there for us today.

In His Love,
Glynnis

Helping Your Child Overcome Failure

Today I'm continuing a week's worth of encouragement from my book "When Your Child is Hurting."  I'm also continuing a week of giveaways in honor of Mother's Day.  I'll tell you about today's gift at the end of my post. 

I believe there are many adults today living far below their potential.  Women have given up on dreams, stopped trying, and accepted mediocrity in areas of their lives because they haven't learned to deal with one thing:  Failure. 

Failure is so painful that we avoid trying out for plays, taking a harder class, stepping into leadership, applying for a better job, and the list goes on. Life is full of opportunities for growth that we avoid, in order to avoid pain. 

When Dr. David Livingstone was working in Africa, a group of friends sent a letter saying, "We would like to send other men to you. Have you found a good road into your area yet?” Apparently, Dr. Livingstone sent this message in reply: "If you have men who will only come if they know there is a good road, I don't want them. I want men who will come if there is no road at all."


Does God desire us to follow Him even when it seems impossible? Is He watching to see what we will do when we face a dead end, or failure? I think so. He’s looking for a follower He can trust to push on past discouragement when the going gets rough. Maybe we need to start training our children to deal with the pain of failure.

A few years ago I started an exercise program and wanted to quit a month into it. It’s probably because I’m the least athletic person I know. I’ve also been told I run worse than a girl and I’m pretty sure I flunked the President’s Physical Fitness test in grade school.

However, since I know in my head that exercise is the only path to getting stronger, I ignored my body’s protests and pressed on. Each week I discovered a new pain somewhere in my body … my shins, knees, and arms all groaned with the discomfort of being awoken from their sedentary state.

During one grueling exercise class, the instructor had us do a lower back exercise. At the first twinge of pain, I stopped. I knew that some pain could be dangerous and didn’t want to continue something that could be damaging to my back. Watching me stop, the instructor stooped down to my level with a questioning look on his face. “It hurts,” I explained.

“I know,” he answered. “This exercise is going to strengthen your back. Stop when you need to rest, but try it again. And each time, hold it just a little bit longer.”

My first instinct was to stop at the painful feeling. However, in order to get stronger, I had to experience the pain.  In parenting my children to overcome failure, I’ve had to deal with this issue myself. It’s only in understanding how to push past all the devastating emotions of failure, that I’ve been able to counsel them in their darkest times. The pain of failure isn’t permanent, but the regret of quitting is.

James 1:2-4 confirms the importance of developing resolve and pressing on: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” If the disciples needed to “develop perseverance” then it must take practice, even for the most disciplined of us.

As I have pushed through the pain of life, especially discouragement and failure, God has revealed His faithfulness to me on the other side of the pain, time and time again. Obeying when God hasn’t revealed the steps along the way or the final destination is challenging. But when we choose to walk by faith and not by sight, God gets all the glory in the end because we KNOW we couldn’t have done it on our own!

I've had to teach my children to accept failure as a part of life, not an end to a dream.  I've had to model pushing past "failure" and looking for God's redirection at what looks like a closed door.  Years ago, when my first book proposal met with "no's" all the way around, my friend Lysa said, "Just because a publisher says no doesn't mean God is saying no."

Our attitude towards failure will greatly impact our children's attitude.  Today, I'll be giving away a Starbucks gift card at random.  To win, share some ways you've learned to deal with failure.  I'll pick a winner over the weekend and announce it on my blog on Monday.

Check back tomorrow when I finish this series from my book, "When Your Child Hurts" with some thoughts on helping children overcoming insecurity.

In His Love,
Glynnis

Seeing Life with New Eyes

On this holy day in our faith - Good Friday - I wish you warmest blessings.

Today I've got a devotion running on Proverbs 31 and Crosswalk. If you haven't read it, I invite you to do so.

The title is "Victory on the Other Side of Failure." I originally wrote it for a chapter on helping kids deal with failure in my book "When Your Child is Hurting." It is frustrating to me to see so many people living life far below their potential. And I realized that much of that attitude of defeat started when we were children.

Someone, somewhere, at some time, told us we couldn't do something. Or told us we would never amount to anything. Or said we were only a "C" student. Or told us to sit on the bench, keep our mouths shut, stay out of the way.

Maybe they never said anything, but we were passed over for opportunities ... repeatedly.

So we learn to accept mediocrity ... work below our potential ... never risk ... and accept "failure" as the end. As the end of a dream, the end of our hopes, the door slamming shut in our faces.

Only it isn't the end.

If nothing else in history teaches us that "failure" isn't always what it seems, the death of resurrection of Jesus Christ shouts that message loud and clear.

With God, there is always hope.
With God, there is always a new chance.
With God, you always have potential.

With God, victory is on the other side of failure!

We are never to old to learn this lesson and apply it to our lives. And the lives of our children.

Are you out of work today? Victory is on the other side.
Have you been betrayed? Victory is on the other side!
Are you sick? Victory is on the other side!
Are you lonely? Victory is on the other side!
Do you struggle with addiction? Victory is on the other side!

On that Friday, thousands of years ago, the disciples of Jesus saw defeat with their eyes. They saw their precious friend and Lord die on a cross.

It looked like failure. Only it wasn't.

Can you imagine those agonizing hours before Sunday morning? Maybe you can, because you feel like that too. You are experiencing your own loss and wondering if God can conquer your "death."

I believe with everything in me that Christ can conquer death. In whatever form it takes. We just need to look at life with new eyes. And trust God. Don't give up. Victory is coming.

"For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: 'Death has been swallowed up in victory. Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?'" (1 Corinthians 15:53-55, NIV)

"For whatever is born of God overcomes the world; and this is the victory that has overcome the world - our faith." (1 John 5:4, NAS)

He is Risen!

Glynnis