Today I've got a devotion running on Proverbs 31 and Crosswalk.com. The title is "Can I Call You Daddy?" and I wrote it after watching a television show where a daughter knew her father would come and rescue her from her latest trouble.
I shared some about my father in the devotion, but I'll share a bit more personal information here. Although my dad was physically present, he was not emotionally invested in me or my little sister at all. When I write that he was physically present, I should clarify that meant present at home. I sang all my growing up years, from third grade on, and my dad never once attended a concert. He wasn't involved in my life at all.
You may not understand this, but I never thought badly of my father for that. That's just how it was. I'm a realist. I never was bitter or resentful. I accepted my father for who he was, and accepted what he was able to offer.
Instead of looking for affirmation and attention in other places, as many young women do, I become independent. I learned to not really depend on a man ... any man. Including God.
Although I loved God with all my heart, I never expected anything from Him. I never thought He would be interested in me or my activities. I never thought He cared about my choices or wanted to help me make them. And I never thought He would come to my rescue.
It has taken me years to understand what it means to have a Heavenly Father. And honestly, I'm still not sure I really understand. Or, that I can really respond to God like a daughter. It feels sort of stiff and awkward at times. In my prayer time, I start by calling Him "Daddy" and slip into calling Him "Lord." It's easier.
And yet I know I'm missing out on a deeper relationship by not exploring what this means. So I'm pushing through the awkwardness, and learning what it means to have a heavenly Daddy. At my age that seems kind of silly. But, the truth is I'll be learning about God until I meet Him face to face. He's that big. So I guess it's not crazy to be exploring something new about God now.
The bottom line is we all are affected in one way or another by our earthly fathers. So maybe it's good to evaluate that relationship, and see how it's affecting our relationship with God. I bet God likes it when we want to know Him more. And I'm confident He prefers me humbly seeking His help, rather than aloof and independent.
I wrote the prayer at the end of the devotion from an honest place in my heart. I'll end this blog post with the same prayer. I hope you'll join me in praying it.
Dear Daddy, how I long to fully understand Your love for me. I know in my head You are a tender father, but my heart still doesn’t understand. Please reveal Yourself to me as a caring daddy. Help me to overcome all barriers I have to living like a chosen and precious daughter of yours. I want to know You more. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
God bless you,