Today the little girl inside me surfaced. I got passed over for an opportunity and it hurt.
In my mind, I thought I should be old enough to not have it hurt. Haven't I outgrown the need for someone to see I have potential? Apparently not. It's been there for a long time too.
I looked back and saw a small 6-year-old with freckles and barrettes in her first-grade classroom. She anxiously raised her hand in class, hoping the teacher would see her and call on her to answer. She knew the answer. She wanted to share it. But the teacher looked right past her and called on someone else. She lowered her hand, and sighed.
Then she was 12, and hoped her chorus teacher would think she had potential. Did she have a voice that was good enough to do a solo or be put in a quartet of girls? Did her teacher notice her voice? She stood on the back riser with the other tall alto girls and watched while petite sopranos got to sing.
She was no longer a little girl, but a college graduate looking for her first job. Would anyone see that she had writing and administrative skills. Would anyone see her potential and give her a chance?
Would she be asked to dance, picked for the team, selected for the promotion, asked to go to lunch with the girls, picked for the speaking event, have her book purchased on Amazon?
Seems I'm always hoping that someone sees my potential. Looks deeper than the surface. Gives me a chance. Believes in me.
I don't think I'll outgrow it. I've worked through this issue long ago, so I don't depend on any one's approval for my sense of self worth. I know my value is found in Christ and Christ alone. But the truth is, it still hurts when I'm passed over.
So here's what I've vowed to do. When I have the chance, I will let you know that I see your potential. I'll see it, because I will look for it. I will see your potential in your writing, in your leadership, in your creative talent, and in your effort to be the woman God has called you to be.
I know you won't ever outgrow the need for someone to see your potential. No matter how old you are. Or if you get sick. Or if you are knee-deep in diapers. Or if you mess up really bad. Or if you are unprepared, or overwhelmed, or grief-stricken.
You still have potential as long as you are breathing. I promise.
God always sees it. And if given the opportunity, I will too.
In His Love,
P.S. This is the perfect opportunity to let you know about She Speaks. I'll be there, as the director of the writer's track. And this year, for the first time in history, we have scholorships available due to the generocity of Cecil Murphey, author extraordinaire. Read my friend Lysa's blog for all the details.