As a mom of teenagers (one almost an adult), I'm finding my speech needs to change. It seems once a day, I'm saying something I wish I hadn't said. It's not always bad stuff, just thoughtless things. Things that if I were speaking to or about a five-year-old might be appropriate. But not for a 17 year old.
For instance, I learned that my 17-year-old son did not appreciate it when I told a neighbor his grade in chemistry. My intent was to make her feel better about how her daughter struggled in a class. I can see now I should have done that a different way.
This is one reason I've struggled with what to write about on my blog. I love reading women's blog when they share the cute things their kids did and said, even when they are naughty. But I've got four teenagers and one pre-teen at home. It gets harder to know what to share and what not to share. So it's safer not to share much.
I also regret how I talk to my kids at times. My intent is never to hurt my children, but sometimes it happens. I voice suspicions that should never even make it to my head. Comments about their friends can raise their protective instincts. I give my opinion when it's not asked for. I'm too passionate about subjects too early in the conversation and shut them down.
I'm learning that talking to teenagers is a bit like navigating a field of landmines. At least it is for me because I talk WAY too much. Even as I'm talking sometimes, an alarm goes off in my head telling me to stop talking NOW. Most times I hit the "snooze" button and plow ahead.
Today I read this quote. I wish I could attribute it to someone, but I can't:
SILENCE IS OFTEN MISINTERPRETED BUT NEVER MISQUOTED
I'm making a commitment today, and broadcasting it on my blog. I will talk less with my teenagers and allow them to talk more. I will guard my words and pray that I only speak encouraging, kind and positive words. I will avoid "innocent" questions that are really designed to make my point. I will not repeat their youthful mistakes to anyone without their permission.
Being a mother is like being on the biggest learning curve ever! That's because the subject matter I'm trying to learn about keeps changing. I guess I should go back to my student mode, and take a few more note.
Any tips about talking with teenagers? Share them on the blog today, and on Thursday, I'll pick a random winner to give a Starbucks card to. So make sure to include an email address so I can reach you.
In His Love,