Tears in the fabric of the universe?

I love the show Fringe.  It's kind of weird, sometimes gross, but always intriguing.  I'm partly drawn to it because of the strong female lead in Olivia, but also the tender father and son relationship in Walter and Peter. 

If you don't watch it, here's a quick summary:  Years ago, Walter (the father) discovered there was a parallel universe to ours ... with the exact same people, just at slightly different levels of technological discovery.  When Walter's son, Peter, died, he discovered the other Walter's son was also sick and dying.  Convinced he could help the other Peter, Walter crossed over and took Peter. 

Because of this one choice, this one action, there was unbalance in the universes.  Now, little by little the fabric between the two universes is tearing.  With each tear, something devastating happens.  The universes are breaking down.  The Fringe Division investigates these odd occurrences. 

BIG NOTE HERE:  I have not watched the last two shows of this season, so please don't give anything away if you've seen them.  :-)

Anyhooo ....

Prepare for a dramatic shift in topic ... but it comes back to Fringe, so keep reading.

This fall, I will have two sons move out of the house.  I'm not sure my heart can take it ...  My oldest will very likely be joining the Marines, and my second oldest will be going to college.  When they leave, they will hold in their hands a booklet that I am writing for each of them called "Driving Tips for the Narrow Road." 

Years ago I tried to get this published, but there wasn't the interest.  Now I'm writing it for my sons.  Each page contains a truth they can hold on to when the road threatens to be so wide they leave the faith of their youth. 

One truth is coming from Fringe (which Dylan and I watch together).  And it has to do with why bad things happen in the world.  Here's a taste of what they will read:

You see, years ago, in our real world, one man made a choice that shook the universe.  Adam chose to disobey God.  It wasn't God's choice for that to happen.  But it happened. 

It happened because God never force Adam to do anything.  Don't we love that part of free will? 

Now, because of that choice, sin has entered the world.  And bit by bit, the fabric of the universe is tearing.  As it tears, horrible things have entered.  Things God never wanted to enter, such as cancer, mental illness, addiction, anger, hate.

Some things happen because of our choices.  War, hunger, poverty, hate, drunk driving.  These are man's choices.
Some things happen because of our broken universe:  Disease, physical handicaps, Alzheimer's. 

None of this is God's choice. He should not be blamed for any of it. 

We should take responsibility for our choices, and make a difference.
We can seek God's healing for what is not our choice.
We can accept God's peace for what doesn't change.
And in it all, choose to trust that God will redeem our brokenness, and not waste any pain.

IF WE LET HIM.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this today.  Whether or not you have children moving out, what truths would you like to tell your kids that they can hold on to?

I've got a copy of T.D. Jake's newest book called "64 Lessons for a Life Without Limits."  Post a comment and a way to get in touch with you and I'll give it away at random to someone.  I'll announce a winner in a few days.

Grace & Peace,
Glynnis

A return to family nights

My friend Jody has held "family night" for years.  Two of her three children are grown and married, and family night continues.  I've always admired her family's commitment to this tradition, but years ago I secretly wondered why it was necessary.  That was when my kids were small ... now I know.

Family night was every night when my children were younger.  We've always eaten dinner together, with a very flexible start-time, anywhere between 5:30 and 7:30.  Even later if someone was busy.  Though "experts" say eating earlier is better, an occasional dinner at 8:00 was an investment in our together-time.

That worked great until ...

high school ...
sports schedules ...
Young Life ...
worship practice ...
college ...
jobs ...
fiance ...

Now I get the concept of a dedicated family night.  For us, it's become Sunday.  We've also incorporated a review of the coming week into our time together.  With two cars and three drivers, we've gotten into some frustrating pickles with expectations of who should get the car.  (Is there something in a 17-y-o brain that thinks a truck is his?)

It's my prayer to continue this for years, so it becomes a return to Sunday Dinner.   With lots of family and friends around the table, maybe even grandchildren one day ... but I get ahead of myself.  I still have teenagers.

We don't have a firm format for our nights together.  We love games, so that's a possibility.   But I'd love to hear from you.  If you've got older kids, or know someone who does, what types of activities work?  I'm open to all ideas. 

And, this Monday morning before Thanksgiving, I'd like to give away a two cute photo album/easels by Mary Engelbreit to one commenter at random.  You can keep one for yourself and give one away. 

So post a comment with an idea for family night with older children/adults, and make sure I have a way to contact you.  I'll announce a winner on Wednesday.

And if you want to know what I"m serving for Thanksgiving Dinner, visit my other blog http://www.herorganizedlife.com/. 

In His Love,
Glynnis

From Stretch Marks to Stretched Faith

If you are visiting today after reading my friend Rene's blog, on Friday, welcome.  If you are regular bloggy friend, pop on over to Renee's blog on Friday.  I'll tell you why at the end of this post.

No one told me motherhood was going to be such a spiritual adventure.  I knew my feet were going to get bigger, certain parts would shift south, and I'd probably never wear two-piece suit again.  But no one told me my faith was going to grow as much as it has.

God didn't give me five children so I could stay the same.  Although, believe me, I tried.  Those first years of motherhood, I desperately tried to regain my old life, and the old me.  But she was long gone, and she took those size 8 shoes with her.

Before the first three kids arrived, I was a well-organized, patient, accomplished woman. I could manage my time, meals, and shopping.  I could string together an articulate thought and enjoyed reading books with chapters. Before kids, I could actually walk from one room into another and remember why.

Then God gave me three little boys first.  That woman no longer existed.  Instead, a woman showed up at my house who:

• ate donuts and Diet Coke for breakfast, 
•  repeatedly believed her toddlers when they promised to walk in the store,
• cleaned her children’s faces with spit and her thumb,
• knew the names of the Teletubbies, 
• and Sponge Bob’s best friend,
• laughed at jokes and movies that included bodily functions,

... but most importantly, (and thankfully) that woman redefined a successful day.

 I’m also a woman who would not trade my life as a mother for anything. After I recovered from those three little boys, God called us to go to Africa to pick up the daughters He had picked out for us.  And the growth opportunities just keep coming.

 I've also learned that I don't have to grow as a mother.  You see, I could sit in the seat of scoffers, be resentful and angry, and justify it all because of how my children choose to act.  Because, by the way, they are all teenagers, and not one of them is perfect. Did God NOT get my wish list???  (grin)

On top of that, wrapped up in the package of two beautiful daughters whom we love with all our hearts, came armloads of challenges.  They've been hard, and at times I've questioned God trust in me.  We aren't even close to overcoming some of these challenges that life in war-torn Africa gave my girls. 

 I recently wrote a devotion about facing hard times. The hardest times in my life have to do with my children.  And I'm encouraged by the life of Job.  I'm going to quote from that devotion as I end this post:

Job faced “hard” head on. He wobbled a bit, but then planted his feet and steadfastly held on to faith that his God who had never abandoned him before, would not do so now. No matter what he lost, and who abandoned him, Job knew God would always be with him. His emotions may have pulled a bit on this, but Job kept steering back to center. Job faced “hard” well.

Being a mom shakes my emotions daily.  I range from overwhelming joy to frustration, fear and sadness, and just about any other emotion you can imagine. 

If you are facing hard times in your call of motherhood, take heart.  Plant your feet firmly and determine to face it well.  You can either grow, or allow the challenges God gives you to hold you back. 
You will never be the same woman you were before, but only you can decide if that a good thing.

Please take a moment to visit Renee's blog, where she's featuring an interview with me about my book, "When Your Child is Hurting."  I'm also giving away two copies of that book and 2 cool week-at-a-glance organizers for moms.  We'll pick one winner from the comments left on my blog, and one from hers.   Make sure you leave your email address or blog address so we can contact you. 

We'll announce the winner on Monday.
I hope you have a great day!

In His Love,
Glynnis


 

Adult Separation Anxiety - When Your Child is an Adult Now

I think I'm going through a form of separation anxiety with my 18-year-old son.   It's hard for both of us.  He's not having any trouble becoming an adult ... what's hard for him is dealing with me.

I don't remember the first time I had separation anxiety as a baby.  I'm sure I had it, since most babies do.  I remember my own children sobbing as I left them in the nursery at church, or with a babysitter.  Their little hearts were breaking as I walked away.  Truthfully, mine was too.  In their minds, I wasn't coming back.  Finally, they learned to trust that I would return.

Oh, how the situation has changed. 

My son is becoming an adult.  He wants to make his own decisions.  He doesn't want me to ask him if he's done his homework, or if he's getting enough sleep, or say things like, "Maybe you should shave" or "Please eat more vegetables and fruit." 

He's in college now and living at home.  Which is wonderful ... most of the time.  He's leading a worship team at church, reads the Bible with his girlfriend, and is respectful and kind.  But he wants to grow up.  And this momma's heart is breaking. 

I know all the right things to think and say.  Really, I do.  I know this is healthy.  I'm so proud that he wants to work to support himself.  I'm delighted he's in college. 

I'm just being real here.  It hurts that he doesn't need me in the same way he used to. 

So I'm going through my own form of separation anxiety.  I'm learning to withhold advice on the little things, and save it for what really matters.  I'm learning to affirm his choices, without following it up with advice on how to something better.  I'm learning to set aside my desire to pout when he would rather be with his girlfriend.  I'm learning to not try to make him feel guilty for wanting to be independent.  I'm learning to be fully present when I do have a moment with him and not spoil it by overreacting based on emotion. 

In other words, I'm growing up. 

Healthy things grow, growing things change. 

This applies to him ... and me. 

Thanks for listening.

Love,
Glynnis