Today I've got a devotion running on Proverbs 31 and Crosswalk.com. The title is "Can I Call You Daddy?" and I wrote it after watching a television show where a daughter knew her father would come and rescue her from her latest trouble.
I shared some about my father in the devotion, but I'll share a bit more personal information here. Although my dad was physically present, he was not emotionally invested in me or my little sister at all. When I write that he was physically present, I should clarify that meant present at home. I sang all my growing up years, from third grade on, and my dad never once attended a concert. He wasn't involved in my life at all.
You may not understand this, but I never thought badly of my father for that. That's just how it was. I'm a realist. I never was bitter or resentful. I accepted my father for who he was, and accepted what he was able to offer.
Instead of looking for affirmation and attention in other places, as many young women do, I become independent. I learned to not really depend on a man ... any man. Including God.
Although I loved God with all my heart, I never expected anything from Him. I never thought He would be interested in me or my activities. I never thought He cared about my choices or wanted to help me make them. And I never thought He would come to my rescue.
It has taken me years to understand what it means to have a Heavenly Father. And honestly, I'm still not sure I really understand. Or, that I can really respond to God like a daughter. It feels sort of stiff and awkward at times. In my prayer time, I start by calling Him "Daddy" and slip into calling Him "Lord." It's easier.
And yet I know I'm missing out on a deeper relationship by not exploring what this means. So I'm pushing through the awkwardness, and learning what it means to have a heavenly Daddy. At my age that seems kind of silly. But, the truth is I'll be learning about God until I meet Him face to face. He's that big. So I guess it's not crazy to be exploring something new about God now.
The bottom line is we all are affected in one way or another by our earthly fathers. So maybe it's good to evaluate that relationship, and see how it's affecting our relationship with God. I bet God likes it when we want to know Him more. And I'm confident He prefers me humbly seeking His help, rather than aloof and independent.
I wrote the prayer at the end of the devotion from an honest place in my heart. I'll end this blog post with the same prayer. I hope you'll join me in praying it.
Dear Daddy, how I long to fully understand Your love for me. I know in my head You are a tender father, but my heart still doesn’t understand. Please reveal Yourself to me as a caring daddy. Help me to overcome all barriers I have to living like a chosen and precious daughter of yours. I want to know You more. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
God bless you,
Glynnis
Monday, June 21, 2010
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9 comments:
Thank you so much for your blog and the devotional.
I am so blessed by it today. I truly long to know God as a father, as a loving and carrying father. It really touched me deep in my heart and I know that He is calling me to call unto Him and ti trust in Him.. It is somehow hard, specially right now, but I know that He sees and that He knows..
Again, thank you so so much for this message.
May Gog continue blessing you.
Adriana
I, too, became very independent (different circumstances, same outcome) as a child which led me not wanting to depend on anyone... especially a man.
Thank you for this post today. I needed to read it... to be reminded to depend on the One who will never let me down. The One who gave His life and pardoned mine. The One who redeems my ashes for beauty.
I'm blessed to read your words,
Shelly
http://shellysc.blogspot.com/
Glynnis, I feel like this post was written for me. I honestly have never thought of this before, but your words opened something up in me. My parents were divorced when I was a baby. My dad was around but not involved in my life and as you said, I knew he loved me and I felt no resentment toward him - that's just "how it was." My dad passed away in 1994 and I often long to have a loving "daddy" relationship with him now that I am older. I truly do love God, but I realized today that I don't expect anything from him either. I pray, study my bible, am involved in church, but do I know that He is interested in me. No. I am holding Him back. It feels weird to call him "daddy". But I long for that relationship. Thank you so much for your words today. I would love to hear more about what you are doing to accomplish this in your life.
This hit so close to home for me!
Unlike my father, I know that God loves me with compassion, connection, and unconditionally, but when I pray or just talk to God, in general, I can't seem to call him Father. It's like even though I know there is a huge difference between the two, associating someone that I know loves me with someone that I question their love for me, and someone I have to call dad, hinders my calling the one (God) that does love me the same name I have to call the one that doesn't really.
It's the same with calling someone, Mother or mom. My mom was abusive and even told me I had to deserve her love. To this day I am unable to even consider calling another mother figure mom.
I don't know how to change this. I've tried to call God Father but the words come out Dearest Lord instead. Crazy, I'm sure.
I really want to take the time to read this message in more detail without distractions and learn from it. I thank you so much for posting it.
thank you for your post.........It left me too with a yearning to know God as my DAD....My earthly father was detached and not involved. Mom did it all. Both are in heaven and I am a widow raising 3 girls..... Lots to think and pray about... kathy
Thank you so much for the devotional. When you said
"And just as I long for my growing children to come and sit on my lap or rest a head on my shoulder, God longs for me to come to Him" God just made it so real me. Sometimes i just forget how much our Heavenly Father loves us and waits for us to come and sit on His lap. This made it very real to me.
Thankyou so much!!
Margaret
Beautiful devotion and thank you for sharing such a personal side of your life. I grew up as you did. My father had a drinking problem and never took an interest in our activities, however, I always knew he loved me and I never held a grudge against him. I've experienced several hurtful situations with men, so I do understand how hard it is to trust a man! God gave me a husband 7 yrs. ago and changed my life. I am a work in process and slowly learninghow to trust and love again.
I am always so amazed that these daily devotions are so timely. I have been a christian for 31 years and I too find it difficult to say the word ~ Daddy in relation to God. This post has encouraged me to make a more conscience effort when addressing my heavenly Father.
I love the sound of it ~ Daddy...so comforting, safe, strong, intimate.
i came over to your site from lysa's and read through a few of your posts until i came to this one. it has stopped me in my tracks.
i too come from a home with a "physically present" workaholic father, but that was about it and am finding that i'm struggling with that fact more so now that i've become a mama myself.
i sadly tried to find attention and affirmation from any man around me and while God graciously saved me from some pretty horrid relationships, i could completely relate to these words that you wrote:
"Although I loved God with all my heart, I never expected anything from Him. I never thought He would be interested in me or my activities. I never thought He cared about my choices or wanted to help me make them. And I never thought He would come to my rescue.
It has taken me years to understand what it means to have a Heavenly Father. And honestly, I'm still not sure I really understand. Or, that I can really respond to God like a daughter. It feels sort of stiff and awkward at times. In my prayer time, I start by calling Him "Daddy" and slip into calling Him "Lord." It's easier. "
thank you for sharing your story and for your vulnerability. it has given so much hope to me, knowing that i can someday be comfortable calling my Lord, my Daddy.
~kimberley
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