Howdy! That's how we say hello in the desert Southwest ... well, not really ...but I wish we did, because I like it.
Anyway, what I mean to say is welcome to those of you who have found your way to my blog after reading my devotion about Soil and Dirt.
If you live in a part of the country where you have rich soil, I'm jealous for your delicious tomatoes and raspberries. We have good oranges here and any day now the trees will start to blossom and fill our streets with the most incredible fragrance ever. But I'd trade my orange tree for your raspberry bush any day of the week.
As I was reflecting about my heart and whether it's got more soil or hard dirt, I think it's half and half. Sometimes I find my heart very hard. Normally it's after I've been hurt by someone. It's like all the softness evaporates and all that is left is hard, crusty dirt.
When that happens, like it did earlier today, I find myself not really caring about the condition of my heart. It doesn't last for long, but it happens. I'm hurt. I'm mad. I'm offended. And I don't feel like doing anything about it except mulling over what happened and how wronged I am.
Even knowing I was going to write this post didn't help in that moment earlier today. I thought about all the things I would tell someone else. You know, all the RIGHT things that a Christian woman should say ... and believe. And still my heart felt hard. I wasn't ready to forgive the offense, and anyway, I hadn't received an apology.
The bottom line is I knew I needed to forgive the offence, but I didn't FEEL like doing it. Instead of waiting for the feelings to come (or the apology which never did) I had to make a choice. I had to ask God for His help to soften my heart, because I couldn't do it on my own. I asked God to help me feel like forgiving.
There was no immediate change of heart, but it was like the rising of the sun. It happened gradually and I was able to forgive.
As we at Proverbs 31 minister to women around the world, we find that many have been hurt deeply, offended greatly and offered no apology. I believe there are many reading this blog today who would say that has happened to them.
I know there are no easy answers. And it doesn't always help for someone to say the right words, because you already know them. So today, if that is you, I pray for God to soften your heart, just like the gentle rising of the sun. Perhaps it will happen so quietly that you won't notice it happening until you don't feel quite so hard and brittle.
Then, as God does His miraculous work, I pray you experience a softened heart to receive all that God longs to give you.
Until then, know that you have sisters in Christ who will pray for you, stand in the gap when you don't have the energy to do so yourself, and love you with the love of Christ.
Thank you for reading my blog today. If I can pray for you, please leave a comment. You can do so anonymously, God knows.
In His Love,