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Friday, March 5, 2010

Today I've got a devotion running on Proverbs 31 and Crosswalk about becoming a woman of dignity. I'd like to wish you a warm welcome if you are visiting my blog for the first time.

Seems there's often a battle going on within me about the woman I want to be and the woman I actually am.

You see, I have this vision of the woman I would like to be all the time. I'm her some of the time. But then "something" happens. Like, say, someone leaving something somewhere it's not supposed to be ... again. When that happens, like it often does in my house, the woman I want to be high-tails it for safer ground, and an undignified, blow-things-out-of-proportion woman shows up.

Where does that woman come from, I ask you.

I've realized she comes from some unidentified place down within me. That place where she's still a little girl stamping her foot and demanding her own way. She comes from that place where she has to have the last word, and be right all the time, and make sure everyone knows the "correct" way to do things, which is ... obviously ... her way.

And in that place down inside me, that undignified woman holds tightly to her own will, for fear that she'll be unappreciated, overlooked, disregarded, and irrelevant. And she's afraid, but it's hard to identify it as fear for the frustration and annoyance that covers it up.

It seems to be easier to lose my cool at times, than deal with the real issue: I like to be in control. And in reality, there are things I just can't control, as much as I would like to.

It comes down to a choice. One I have to make daily. I need to choose to submit my desire to be right and need for control to God.

Submitting those desires to God doesn't mean I care less about what's going on. It just means I'm choosing to trust God to watch out for me. He will be my defender when I feel taken advantage of. He will give me my worth when I feel unappreciated. He reminds me of my potential when I feel irrelevant. I don't have to grasp for those things by lowering my dignity and giving in to emotion.

So what are some way I keep my cool when things get tough? Well, when I do things right, here's what helps:

1) I prepare myself in advance through prayer. God's Word has amazing power to bring clarity to a situation.

2) I decide in advance how I'm going to respond to common triggers. For example, when a child whines that she is bored. Instead of giving her a lecture, I am ready with some suggestions on what she could do. That's much nicer than the, "When I was a little girl ..." speech.

3) I don't take things personally. I make a choice to believe the best about another. The truth is it's not all about me. It just feels like it sometimes. People don't always care about what I care about, and their priorities are the same as mine. But they aren't against me. I need to remember that God made people different for a reason.

4) I keep things in perspective. In July 2004, my niece was killed in a car accident. We miss her daily. As frustrated as I might get with someone I love, at least he or she is alive. That thought brings me to a place of persective faster than anything else.

5) I keep my mouth shut. Proverbs 18:7 says, "A fool's mouth is his undoing, and his lips are a snare to his soul." Yep, sometimes it's best not to say anything.
Proverbs 31: 25 says, “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”
I may not be there all the time, but with God's help, I pray I'm becoming more a woman of dignity every day.
In His Love,
Glynnis












25 comments:

Michelle said...

Wonderful wise words and useful suggestions, Glynnis. Thank you so much. And I agree that reading God's word daily -- for me first thing in the morning - provides a "cloak" of peacefulness and mindfulness that helps keep my emotions in check. And if I feel my emotions starting to blow things out of proportion, I stop and think about Him and how He wants me to behave, and I ask for His help.

Amy Carroll said...

Great suggestions, Glynnis!

Amy

Corner Gardener Sue said...

Good morning, Glynnis,
I have some ways of being selfish that are not dignified, and sometimes don't even involve other people. God used your devotion to encourage me to turn to him, and retain my dignity.

Blessings on your day,
Sue

Anonymous said...

This is the first time I've visited your post. Thanks for the encouragement...it was exactly what I needed for today!

Lucy Munoz said...

Thank you for todays post it really hit home with me, I struggled with this last night. I felt and most likely was a woman less of dignified. My boys have had some very challenging days lately with behavior, attitude, and respect for me as a parent. As much as I want to be the woman of dignity you talked about today the fact is that I often go the other way. I too pray the Lord to work on me and fill me with his love and spirit of wisdom and disernment so that in those moments I can be reminded that the Lord is near and that there is an opportunity for dignity to reign in my life.

Thank you

Anonymous said...

thanks for these words.. It's nice to know that other parents/christians have the same problems as I do..

I'll share this with you.. it takes a very special person to realize that they need to apologize.. I've been in those shoes myself, having to apologize to my son for having a bad day and either snapping at him or fussing at him.. God Bless you and may God always provide you that strength!!
Carol

Mary said...

Your devotion was exactly what I needed today. I strive to be a woman of dignity daily. Satan knows what buttons to push and when he does I can be very undignified. Thank you for reminding me I am human but with God's help I can be the dignified woman he wants me to be.

Tammy Nischan said...

Glynnis,

Have you been spying on me???? Did you know that my biggest prayer these days has been my relationship with Todd, my 16 year-old son? Thank you, thank you, thank you for these thoughts on this verse.

Striving to parent with dignity,
Tammy :)

Have a great weekend! Love you!

Oh, Glynnis, Carolyn called me about the article for the She Speaks conference advertising. I am excited and thankful that God brought us together last August.....He is working in all of our lives daily, isn't He? Love you. :)

Steph said...

Glynnis, you rock!

Again, a tender and honest word in due season. THANK YOU for helping me not feel like a failure when I too, wasn't dignified or acting like the "mature adult" with my precious offspring this week.

You are precious.

You are appreciated.

Anonymous said...

I love the way God sends us to exactly what we need for the day. For me, today, it was your blog. Thank you for writing it - I went to it from the "Encouragement for Today" devotion. I have three kids in elementary school, a husband who works long hours, and I work full-time...it's hard to always be who I want to be. I'm thankful for grace, and I'm thankful for your suggestions :-)

smallwash said...

What a wonderful and timely word your post was for me today. As the mother of two pre-teen daughters it is hard for me to maintain that line between Mother and confidant. There are times when my oldest can cause me to get down on that "play ground fight" with her and I end up feeling so ashamed at my behavior. I am trying to apply some of the tips you mentioned already, but just knowing that I am not the only mother out there going through this helps so much. Thank you!

Tina said...

I read your Proverbs 31 post and your blog today. It was well timed for me! By God's grace, I read His word and pray every morning and am so blessed, and dignified, until my feet hit the ground!Sometimes I struggle GREATLY remembering that I am clothed in Christ's righteousness alone, and will have the strength to ACT like it when I submit MY will to HIS!Thank God that He gives strength to His people, and blesses them with peace!And thank you for using your writing gift for His kingdom!

Anonymous said...

Glynnis you described me in your devotional. You surely put things in perspective and I thank you for showing me that I am not that person who God has called to be. I am much more than that woman.

Thank you for your suggestions for being cool. I will declare that I am a woman of dignity and pass everything over to Him who is the perfect one.

Anonymous said...

Glynnis you described me in your devotional. You surely put things in perspective and I thank you for showing me that I am not that person who God has called to be. I am much more than that woman.

Thank you for your suggestions for being cool. I will declare that I am a woman of dignity and pass everything over to Him who is the perfect one.

Shari Braendel said...

Glynnis, I know I've told you this before but I will again now...You rock! And yours are always such awesome devos..I love your writing and they always hit home. Gracious, and I thought I could just be clothed with a great looking pair of jeans! ha! JK!!!!! Ohhhh to be a woman of dignity...and to our husbands also, right???? hehehe!!!! I know,I know...mine is a good one but boy I get mean sometimes and I have no idea where that woman just came from! Who IS she? Oh dear, it is me....gah!!!!! love you!

ara marie said...

Thank you so much, Glynnis. I've been dealing with and working on this area. Your points will be very helpful to me.

I have five little ones under 8 and sometimes I just get lost in my wants and my identity. I pray that I can get focused and remember that God has blessed me with these sweet ones.

Thanks,again!

arabelle
www.todhuntertastic.blogspot.com

Erin said...

Thank you for the great devotional today!
I read it after I lost my cool with my 6 year old daughter this morning... thank you for the reminder of what I should "clothe" myself with.
Blessings.

Anonymous said...

Wow, God is good! Reading through all the comments left and realising that so many women are struggling with the same feelings and can identify so closely with your blog, Glynnis! I too can really relate. I have a six year old daughter that frequently gets me to the point of forgetting that I'm the adult. I need an intervention in my discipline approach but I also need to remember all the things you mentioned. I sometimes write scriptures on 3x5 cards and then put them around my house, I find this helps when I can read something quick and change my thought patterns, before it's too late! Hope that helps some others....
Proverbs 31: 25 is going on my wall!

looking for me in god word said...

oh how i want to e the person i see in my mirror and in my mind. the one who doesn't react but acts with dignity in all i do. i pray god will help me to find the dignity that he created me with. first i must belive that he DID create me with dignity and there in lies the problem for me. FAITH if only it were as easy for me as it is for others.

Anonymous said...

Thank you! Thank you! I really needed this message.

Colleen said...

There are so many times that I react to a situation instead of thinking through my response. When I can remain calm, I'm much more in control of a situation. By losing my cool I've lost control, the one thing I was probably trying to keep, along with my dignity.

Thanks for these great reminders. Though I will always strive to be better than I am, I must keep in mind that perfection really is unattainable. I want to be the woman God intended me to be. It helps to try to see myself through God's eyes. What a filter that is!

Anonymous said...

I think that as Moms it is easy to get overwhelmed and caught up in all the stuff that goes on in our home. For me personally, I find that if I don't spend some time in quiet prayer with God in the a.m. and have allowed my house to get messy and unorganized, that adds up to a brewing pot. Stir in lack of sleep, too much on our plate, disrespectful family members and you have a huge potential for major problems. I loved your idea that we need to sit down and decide in advance how we will handle those triggers IN ADVANCE. Then we need to intentionally use them and walk away. The more we engage, the more likely we are to get drawn back in. Thanks for your thoughts - always timely in a parent's day!

Cat

Stephanie Shott said...

I love the way you described a common thread we women often seem share... "Seems there's often a battle going on within me about the woman I want to be and the woman I actually am."

Strange how our moods and attitudes seem to shift from dignified to indistinguishable in the blink of an eye.

Thanks for the sweet reminder and the practical advice on becoming a woman of dignity.

kpkriebel said...

Hi Glynnis. I am overwhelmed at how God gives me exactly what I need & DIGNITY is it. God is really at work in my heart & as a matter of fact, 2010 is the year of the heart for me. Sounds beautiful, but it is a painful experience as my pride (irrelevance, need to be appreciated..bla.bla) rears its ugly head again...& again. I am grateful for what God is doing & I know that in time the effects of what He is doing will be felt through out our home...& during this, having you & Proberbs 31 Ministry is so helpful. I am not alone (I am surrounded by males...even our dog!) & having beautiful women who love Christ sharing their hearts is so comforting. THANK YOU!
In Christ, Pam

jg said...

Thank you Glynnis!I can really relate to all the words you've said about a woman of dignity and the other woman that we don't like that comes from within us. Your suggestions are great.Understanding what's going on within oneself and knowing how to deal with it is one thing;applying it is quite another.
For me application of insights I've learned is the hardest part but thanks be to God He gave me His Holy Spirit to accomplish things I can not do by myself.