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Thursday, August 13, 2009

First a warm welcome to any visitors who have made their way to my little corner of the Internet after reading my "Encouragement for Today" devotion on bringing out the best in children. As I'm just starting to home school my daughter Cathrine, I needed my own reminder of how powerful my words are in bringing hope or despair to a situation.

Bringing out the best in my children has always been a passion of mine. When they were very little, I knew I had been called to be their chief cheerleader, coach, teacher, counselor and of course loving parent. I know my husband Tod shares in that same belief.

When faced with one challenge after another, I knew no human could help my children the way I could. No one else loved them as much or saw their potential like I did.

For example, I'll never forget when oldest son Joshua was in first grade. His small Christian school started a music academy. Since Josh had been singing since he could talk, we knew God had gifted him musically. So we signed him up for piano lessons through the school. A few months into the lessons this young teacher looked me straight in the eye and told me I was "wasting my money" by having six-year-old Josh in piano lessons.

I definitely didn't agree with her, but we did decide she wasn't the teacher for our sweet son. I'm sure she was surprised when at the recital a few months later, Josh was the ONLY child out of about 50 (including teenagers) who played AND sang at the same time. At 18, Josh now is leading worship at church.

If I had believed that teacher, I might have given up on Josh's potential. Only God could have helped us maneuver through that disappointment.

So many times in parenting, I've had to navigate the flood waters of my own emotions before I could help my children. When they hurt, my hurt is magnified. If you are parent, you know exactly what I mean. That's the reason I wrote my latest book. And it is with celebration and thanksgiving that I present it to you today!



Click here
to order a copy from Proverbs 31 Ministries.

In this book, I address a number of everyday hurts that kids face and give practical tips for how parents can help. Some of the topics covered include: loneliness, fear, stress, bullying, learning differences, grief and anger. Not only will children be helped, but I believe God wants to bring healing to many parents as well.

I'd like to give away two copies of my book today. If you'd like to win one for yourself or someone else, simply leave a comment on my blog. I love to hear about parenting lessons you've learned. I'll pick the winner at random, so just make sure you leave a way for me to contact you if you've won.

In His Love,

Glynnis

50 comments:

Anonymous said...

Glynnis,
I think your new book looks fantastic. I have a teenage daughter who has a difficult time making friends -- she is in private Christian school and doesn't hang out socially with anyone there and doesn't hang out with anyone in our neighborhood. At one point it was making me sad that she didn't have any friends and she seemed kind of sad, and angry, as well. Then it occurred to me to be thankful that she didn't just choose anyone to hang out with just to ease the lonely feelings. And maybe God was protecting her from some bad relationships that can happen in the teen / middle school years. This has gone on for several years and now is just starting to get better. She agrees that, looking back, it was probably better not to have had friends than to have had ones that just weren't good for her.
I would love to read your new book.
Amy
(d.krautkremer@comcast.net)

S D said...

Hi Glynnis
Your encouragement for today topic really hit the nail on the head; and it brought home the message and opportunity to reflect on what behaviours my children have seen in me, and how they are mirroring me.
I followed the link to your blog, and there you address another topic on my heart...I would love to read a copy of your book, to help my children, which are introvert, to deal with their emotions and feelings. My eldest, being plagued by name calling and teasing. Any words of wisdom and direction would be so appreciated.

I am so glad to have found these devotions and blogs. You are all such wonderful people, and express yourselves so that it really grips at one's core. Thank you for sharing and accompanying so many on their walks with Jesus.

Blessings
Sharon

s said...

Were you peeking into my window yesterday? I was just wondering because you scripted EXACTLY what went on in our house after school. Thank you (and God) so much for making me take pause and consider (yet again) how my actions so influence my children's. You'd think I'd have learned this after parenting five of them. :)

Your book looks great. We could really use it around here, unfortunately. Middle school, aka the Land of the Mean Girls, is not the kindest of places.

Thank you for the giveaway.

Many blessings,
Sherri

Leigh said...

I have been waiting for you book to come out. I have 3 small children with one on the way and often worry how I will handle the difficult situations they will face in school. Thank you for all you do.

Leigh
fantprestonl@att.net

Steph said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ang said...

Well, I live in a area where christian school is not an option,so we deal with heartache often due to school etc. My girls are 8,7, and almost 5 and I would love to have your book.Bless you for writing it! I think this is the first book I have seen on the subject(the nearest christian bookstore is 2 hours away),yes I do live in the woods.
Your devotion today grabbed my attention because my 7 yr olds bunny died yesterday,I realize your book is much deeper than that but we had some hurting kids yesterday.
Bless you!
spazzyang@hotmail.com

Anonymous said...

Glynnis,

Thank you for your words of encouragement this morning. I grew up in an abusive household as an only child. My husband also grew up I an abusive home. By the grace and mercy of our Lord, the abuse cycle stopped with us; however, at times I know I don’t bring out the best in my children. I could be and should be more patient when the chores aren’t done at the exact moment I think they should be and so on……
I constantly have to remind myself, allowing my children to see my utter frustration does not do any of us any good, it only makes them blame each other and make excuses. That is not how I want my children to react when they are in “trouble”. I want them to take responsibility for their actions.
This is my prayer or the next seven days, that I would not react before thinking and praying and God would give me the words to encourage my children at every opportunity .

Anonymous said...

Glynnis, thank you for your words of encouragement. I am so thankful God always knows what we need!

RT (thomafamilyof5@clearwire.net)

joy powers said...

I really enjoy your blog and learn a lot! I can really relate to frustration as a mom and the desire to do better for our kids! Thanks for your candid approach and encouragement!

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for your encouraging words! I struggle so often to spur my children to love and god deeds. Sometimes I get so frustrated with the bickering and complaining that I return in kind which is not helpful at all and actually makes the situation worse. Your book sounds great. Thanks for all you do!

ronda.reece@sbcglobal.net

Bobbey said...

Glynnis,

Thanks for your words of encouragement. God has once again provided the encouraging words I needed in the time that I needed them.

I'd love to read your new book. My oldest is 9 and in addition to having to cope with chronic illness, she has some very hurtful "friends" in our neighborhood.

Bobbey

Jules said...

Such a good word, such a perfect time!!
Blessings,
Pat

Anonymous said...

Wow! My husband and I were just discussing this last night. Then I opened my morning devotional and BANG! there was God again, reiterating the importance of parental modelling. Thank you!
Cathy
(cwalhout@cogeco.ca)

Melissa Milbourn said...

loved your devo today.

heather said...

Thank you for your encouragement today... I have been suffering from depression and recently lost my mother... as you can imagine I have not been very loving to my family lately because of my own hurt. Thank you for allowing God to use you to speak to me and give me new perspective.
hkerig@netzero.com

Anonymous said...

I'm at the end of my parenthood journey (our fifth child was married last Saturday), but I can really relate to looking for the best in our children while also being aware of their hurts. Our seventh child has special needs and we have always given him a double dose of love because of all the hardships he encounters along his way. But the Lord has often remnded me that all of my children have special needs and all need that double dose of love. Their lives are hard even if we can't see it from the outside. I want to model my Father who looks on the inside and sees my hurting heart!! He then gives me ALL the love I need to heal.

Anonymous said...

Hi,
I am a mother of twin daughters who are 10 years old and in separate 5th grade classes. They have been in public school since starting kindergarten. My husband and I are in disagreement about middle school placement. He says we cannot afford private Christian school. I am terrified of sending my children into the public middle school. I'm not sure if your book would help me prepare them and myself, but I would love to read it to glean the words of wisdom you might have for me.

Thanks for being a faithful servant.

Sharon
busyking@aol.com

Tania said...

Thank you so much for this timely encouragement! As a child of abuse, I struggle daily to use my words wisely and be an encourager, not a discourager, to my boys. God bless!

Janean Campbell said...

I love reading your inspiration. I'd love to receive a copy of your book as it looks very insightful.

Robin said...

Thanks for the great topic. My girls are 7 and almost 5 and they are such a mirror as to how I act at times. Your book sounds great.
rln85692@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the reminder that our children are watching our example even more than listening to our instruction. Your new book looks like a great help as we navigate the waters of childhood! With four children, each with a different personality, we could use all the help we can get to understand their everyday hurts. Thanks for following the Lord's leading in writing this book.
boys-r-us4@hotmail.com

lbraun70 said...

Sounds like a great book, my daughter is 9 and we are starting a different stage, and this book would be a great help.
Thanks Lisa Braunius

tam said...

I am always amazed at how the Lord brings JUST what I need to "prod me along" this journey of motherhood...Or maybe the word shouuld be ADVENTURE of motherhood. Yesterday I noticed a big difference in our home. I recently read how we should notice our tones of voices---do we end our sentences on an "upper pitch"-- "Could you bring me that basket of laundry, please???" We talked about how we can speak the same exact words, but when the TONE is changed, the meaning of the words TOTALLY changes. I'm happy to report that it does make a difference! THANK THE LORD!
Your book sounds like something we could use in our household. both of my children suffer from disorders, which grieves my heart--hearing their "why's??" (it's difficult finding the right answers.) But His grace is sufficient...and His compassions never fail---they're new every morning!
God bless you...
tmom21998@aol.com

Nancy J Locke said...

Beautiful post and blog!!! I did find you through my email this morn.

What I have learned about parenting is that you can never go back in time and that every day counts when it comes to taking care of your children.

And it's soooo important to say I love you. And to say that Jesus loves you and wants to be your friend. You can talk to Him about ANYTHING.

Blessings, Nancy J Locke

Carrie Turansky said...

Hi Glynnis,
I appreciated your Proverbs 31 devotional today/Friday. I have five kids too, although they are all grown now, 21 - 27 years old. I still look for ways to spur them on to love and good deeds through my example. It is a joy to see our investment in their lives paying eternal dividends.

I wanted to recommend a book written by my husband Scott and Joanne Miller on the topic of heart change in children - Parenting is Heart Work. It has many practical ideas as well as sound Biblical teaching on how to reach the hearts of our children. Awana bought 5000 copies of this book to give to their leaders around the country to encourage them to strengthen their ministry to parents. I think you would enjoy it.

Blessings to you and your family,
Carrie
www.carrieturansky.com

Heather said...

Today's devotion was a great one--coming at the last part of a long hard summer for us! I am very interested in this book. I have 5, with 2 being my stepchildren. Perhaps you have covered this in this book...but if not, I would be interested in a discussion of how to love your children that God has given you, ie through adoption or stepfamily, with the same passion as your natural born children. Anyway, looking forward to reading your book--if I win it, all the better! quinnschilling@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Glynnis, for today's devo! God always knows what I need to hear. Our children are 20 & 23 & I'm afraid I have not always modeled the best behaviour when things get heated...they are great kids but I wish I could have some do-overs. I would love to read your book! Praying God will fill in the gaps I missed. :)
ceddins965@yahoo.com

Administrator said...

Wow. I really needed to read your P31 devo today. It echoed my own life to a T! I too react in anger and frustration and that's how my children respond too. What an ugly cycle! And then I am surprised, when I spend time in God's Word and prayer, that I am able to respond with patience and graciousness to them. You are SO SO right when the change must begin with us!
I pray that God will continue to bless your writing, and He will continue to teach us about His heart and His perfect love for us.

Paula

Angela said...

Hello there,
I get freaked out when I hear the statistic quoted that ? 85% of children stop going to church or serving the Lord after they leave home. The pressure for me feels multiplied as I have one son, one chance "to get it right". I ask God to forgive my fear, and help me to live so my son will love Him and choose Him over the frills of the world. "Be a follower of "The Way", not the world". This is my heart.

My son is 10 and finding parenting stuff for this age of 9-12 has been a challenge. Thank you Glynnis for sharing such meaningful and relevant words that encourage.

Happy Friday
Angela
angela.the.home.organizer@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Thank you for writing this as I am a homeschooling mom that does have those bad days.
I need every tool I can use to help me become the mother to my children that God has placed me on this earth to be.
Keep me in your prayers as I begin another school year.
mama4fran@yahoo.com

Trish said...

Hi Glynnis,

Thank you for your words of wisdom! I am looking forward to reading your new book.

Have a great day!
Trish Mucklow
tmucklow@netzero.net

Anonymous said...

Your Godly timing is amazing. I just had a situation with my teenage son last night. When I read your blog it all made sense to me. My son felt I wasn't supporting his ability to make decisions for himself and that I had no faith in him. I thought I was just trying to help guide him in right choices and relationships. Now I know I need to be more sensitive to how I word things and always try to see the emotions and feelings of my children in the same light I see mine. I realize now how I teach them best when I just set a good example in my own way of living daily before them as Christ called me to.
I can't wait to read your new book!
Vanessa
(vkernodle@bellsouth.net)

Anonymous said...

Having a 13 year old girl (quiet, sensitive, but a sassy teen), 10 year old boy (very sensitive, sweet, but a loud, rambunctious boy), and a 5 year old girl (a complete mix of the two older kids), your book would be so helpful. It's amazing how differently each child reacts to the same situation, and how dealing with each reaction has to be so different. What works for one certainly does not always work for another.

I also have committed myself to submitting to God for the next 7 days (seriously, 7 days?!?) my impatience with my children. I just started back to work after 12 years of being an at-home mom, and not being frustrated and impatient with the evening routine when I get home (or what hasn't gotten done while I've been at work) has certainly been my weakness. I truly appreciate your column and this is something I am committed to. It's true that when I show them love and kindness they react in same, yet when I'm loud and rude to them, believe or not, they act the same then too! God, give me patience to deal with my impatience!!

Tammy Cogar
kevincogar@verizon.net

Colleen said...

Hi Glynnis,
I can relate to what you wrote in your P31 devotional today, and remember those days when I wasn't my best with boys. The best I could do when I had a really bad day was apologize to them for my blow-up and try to explain why I was overloaded, and then explain how they could help avoid a future occurrence by actually doing the things I asked of them! We are only human, and we do make mistakes. Acknowledging that to them with an apology hopefully taught them an awareness of how their words could hurt others, and how to apologize to help the hurt get better.
With three boys grown and one still at home, I am challenged by unreasonable fears in my youngest son and his unwillingness to face them. He feels bullied by his older brother (7 years his elder!) and does have a difficult time with comments from teachers and others. You are so right that his hurt is magnified in me when he tells me about it! I try to distance myself from his emotions, but I feel my insides tying up in knots. I am hopeful your book will give me some helpful scriptures and strategies for dealing with all of his problems. I've placed it on my 'wish list' at the P31 store!

Colleen
colleenreske@yahoo.com

Janice said...

I think your book would be great for my daughter. My children are raised now but I know she could benefit by reading this with 3 small children. I look forward to getting this book for her,
Janice

Robin Porter said...

I will certainly read your book. I think one of the toughest things so far was the passing of my father. My oldest who is now almost 8 still misses him and cries over him no longer being here. she was only 4 when he passed away. He was a special man in her life and they were very close. He was also the only grandpa that she had. I would love to read what information you give on how to help my child through this. She knows he is with Jesus but she still misses him like crazy. For the past 3 years it was a daily thing for her to mention to me how much she missed him. Over the past year it isn't quite daily but it still comes up often. we have talked many times about his passing and remembering the good times we had with him.

Stephanie Brandt said...

Thank you for the wonderful P31 devotional today. It went hand in hand with the Lisa Whelchel "Creative Correction" book I just started today. Thank you!

Handwoven Dreams said...

My greatest desire as a parent is to model Christ to them. I fail miserable sometimes. Yet I want for them to know so much about God and His character. I would love a copy of your new book. Thank you for ministering to all mothers through your book.

Betsy
betsyburge@bellsouth.net

Christy said...

Thank you. For faithfulnessin obedience to God and for faithfulness to sisters across the blogs. The mirror does not always show us what we want to see but it is honest.

We are in the midst of move 4 in 18 months and while there is so much good and so much grace and so much of God in it all, I am tired. We are tired. It is hard to explain the unexplainable to your sons: why was our sister born still is number one on their list but even the smaller things now - the why are we moving when you said we were done moving. But in it all God is present and we are not alone. And it teaches each of us that through everything - the named and unnamed we are not alone and we can look for and will find evidence of Grace wherever you will. So thank you for the reminders of sowing and reaping what is good, and building and constructing for that is what each one of desires. We sometimes just need to refocus our gaze and we will see grace in Him, in them, in us. And it is marvelous.

Christy said...

Thank you. For faithfulnessin obedience to God and for faithfulness to sisters across the blogs. The mirror does not always show us what we want to see but it is honest.

We are in the midst of move 4 in 18 months and while there is so much good and so much grace and so much of God in it all, I am tired. We are tired. It is hard to explain the unexplainable to your sons: why was our sister born still is number one on their list but even the smaller things now - the why are we moving when you said we were done moving. But in it all God is present and we are not alone. And it teaches each of us that through everything - the named and unnamed we are not alone and we can look for and will find evidence of Grace wherever you will. So thank you for the reminders of sowing and reaping what is good, and building and constructing for that is what each one of desires. We sometimes just need to refocus our gaze and we will see grace in Him, in them, in us. And it is marvelous.

The little old mom who lived in a shoe said...

We just bought a new-to-us van. When we were test-driving it we noticed a smell. My husband asked me if I thought the smell was, "smoke, food, or a rotted body unfound for days" or something like that. On our way home our 8-year-old was telling his younger brothers that someone had died in our van. What? When I realized where he got that, I jokingly observed, "Sure. You don't listen to us when we tell you to clean our rooms! But you hear us joking about a body in the van?" Ugh! Little pitchers have big ears... but selective hearing.
I'd love your book!

Tammy Nischan said...

Glynnis!

How exciting and wonderful! I am so proud of you and happy for you!

Just today I had a situation with Olivia where we were dealing with "leaving friends out," and I was so proud of Olivia's decision in the end. Like you, I want her heart to be changed not just her actions.

Thanks for your words.

Hoping to win!! :)

Love,
tammy niscahn

Cat said...

Good Morning Glynnis:

Yup - I would agree wholeheartedly, the right attitude has to lead the way. Developing a positive attitude is key to seeing changes - at work, at home and pretty much in anything we are involved in. We have raised two (now on their own) and are still raising two at home. A critical spirit (while well-intentioned) usually blows up in your face, somewhere along the way. You might be "right" but no one is listening - who wants to be around a critical person? God has really been teaching me that Intentional Kindness is so very important - I say intentional because there are many days when you are just "not in the mood" to be nice or they do something that makes you nuts. Practicing this every single day makes a huge difference in their day, everyone else's day, but more than anything else, in your day. How can we impact the world and our family if we don't show kindness (love)? The more you practice it, the more it becomes "just what you automatically do". Another parenting suggestion I would make would be the it is crucial that as Mom and Dad, we back each other up and be on the same page, we model intentional respect for each other (even on those days we don't agree with each other), limit our words when we are upset with our kids and walk away (short and sweet - after ten words they aren't listening anyway - just rolling their eyes!)

Cat

Anonymous said...

Hi Glynnis,
Words are so powerful; they build up, they destroy. How I wish ALL my words were used to build up but my human failings (anger, hurt, frustration) make me become a destroyer at times. I cannot tell you how many times I have prayed for the right words to say in difficult situations but have fallen short. This book wood be a blessing.
Geralyn
bagmic@aol.com

Anonymous said...

I have learned as a parent to encourage no matter what. There is so much we learn once becoming parents ourselves. I found myself divorced raising 2 children and it was very tough. No matter what they went through and the mistakes I made, I still encouraged them that it'll be okay. God is still in control and nothing can change that. Tomorrow will be a better day. I was taught by my mother, never to judge anyone, unless you walk in their shoes. To stand up for what you believe in...and that was extended to my children. Reaping and sowing, or how some call...what goes around, comes around. Tret others as you would like to be treated. My goodness, there are too many to list. My 2 older now in later 20's have beautiful hearts and encourage others, are true friends who help when they see a need. My son, single sponsering a child in Africa. My daughter, single encouraging other women and girls to give of yourself, because it comes back. Glynnis, I could write so much more. We all learn daily as parents, and children. God has so much for us, and His Blessings never end. Thank you for your site. I'm new to this, but I will be searching your site. In His Grip, Jackie M

Anonymous said...

Great post at Proverbs31. It really touched me and opened my eyes into my own behavior. I seem some changes are to be made.

Congrats on the new book. I'd love to win a copy but if I'm not the lucky one then I'll be sure to pick one up.

Thanks.
Diane
alainasmom@homerco.net

Anonymous said...

Hi Glynnis, as most may do, I stumbled across your blog through the Proverbs 31 page. I am having terrible difficulties parenting my 5 year old daughter lately as I am now a single mother dealing with a lot of past, present and future issues. I know that I am too late for the book give-away, but I just wanted to drop a comment anyway and let you know that I appreciate women like you stepping in and being the voice of women who most of the time feel like they are the only one going through these situations. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Melissa (New Jersey)
Malissa4ever@yahoo.com

mingmay said...

Dear Glynnis,
Praise God for speaking directly into my heart. Your devotional hit home as I recently felt a nudge from God that I am called to home-school my daughter, yet am nowhere near feeling poised to take on the challenge. Having grown up in a family that was achievement driven, I worry that my upbringing will negate the call that has unmistakably descended. As I have read on past devotionals that God helps us start anew with a clean slate, I hope that in my pursuit of raising godly children, that God will nurture me as I try to nurture my daughter (preschool age).

I am in the process of potty-training my daughter and have quickly learned that it does not bring out the best in me. Thank you for your devotional and the power verses, so that I may be reminded to devote myself to my daughter in love.

-Ming-May

Thank you

Kathy said...

I have 11 and 6 year old daughters. Each are sensitive in their own way. My 11 year old is a bit overweight and in that awkward stage. She has been picked on at school for different things. She was also hurt last year by a girl who she was being friends with because no one else would be. The girl was jealous of any other relationship my dd had and more. One day she came home upset and said that E was acting jealous again because she had done something X and wanted to know why she should have to deal with E being that way when she already has to deal with a grandmother that is that way. My 6 year old is shy and a big mommy's girl so many times it takes a lot (or someone besides me) to get her to do new things especially if there is a big crowd; she becomes overwhelmed and very upset. I would love to read this book and get some insight on how to help both my girls. Kathy (kathy_everman@sbcglobal.net)

Anonymous said...

Glynnis, Thank you. I struggle daily w/ my daughter- she is constanly absorbing things in this world and the stress her dad and I carry with just life in general that an 8 yr old should not worry about. I am so sad, I feel unable to help her or to get us out of this rut. I am hoping to get your book b/c it really caught my attention as to what I think we need to "straighten out the bumps". I can't wait to read this book w/ my daughter. (rjones4@bresnan.net)