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Thursday, August 21, 2008

I've never done anything as difficult as being a mother. Well, the first part of motherhood - the physical part - that was tough. But it was incomparable to the rest of it.

There's this ideal mother I want to be, and then there's ... well ... me. Disappointing at times. I understand why my children will look at me after they've made a mistake and say in response to my "Why?" - "I don't know?"

I don't know why I do the things I do sometimes. I sure don't want to shut down a conversation with my teen so I can make a point. I don't know why I let work consume me, or get frustrated at minor things.

I get what Paul said in Roman 7: "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do."

There's something else I "get" from the Bible, and that's the concept of grace. I need it in full measure being a mom.

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." (2 Corinthinians 12:9)

That's really good news for me today, because I sure feel weak.

Being a mom is really hard work. I'm so glad God's given me grace. Maybe I need to accept it more.

Love,
Glynnis

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you, for your testimony today! I, too, have been practicing holding my tongue. But I have probably held it TOO much, and let my grown daughter get away with too many things while living at home "for just a few months". I have found that it is a fine balance as a mother of an adult, to know where to be the mom, and where to let her be the adult. Using the reason,"...because it's MY house," doesn't seem like the best response to give her, even to myself. So I have avoided that comment.
By not bringing up every annoyance as it occurs, I am trying to be more loving and gracious--but, you're right: it doesn't respond to the hurt in my "mom heart" when I hold back. I have learned alot about relying on God, His grace, mercy, and example of forgiveness this summer. I only pray that I am being the mother He wants me to be.

Joy in The Truth (Sharon Sloan) said...

Thanks, Glynnis, for your honesty in your devotional and blog post. You are encouraging! :)

I always say, "Motherhood keeps me on my knees!" God knows what He is doing....we are completely dependent on Him as moms who want to raise our kids to honor Him.

My girlfriend always says, "Motherhood is the hardest job you'll ever love."

Whew! But by the grace of God....

Nancy Hannigan said...

My son is now 30, and we are actually business partners! After reading your testimony today, it brought back memories of his adolescent years and, what I referred to as, "the Chinese water torture". I found I was able to calmly deal with all the big (sometimes bad) things, which I attribute to God's grace. But after enough of the everyday annoyances (drip, drip, drip) I too would occasionally lose it. Just remember, with faith and prayer, this too shall pass.

Joyful said...

Glynnis, your devotional spoke to my heart today. I had to laugh when you wrote about "parental frustration". I know you were writing about frustrations with your children, but it struck me fumny right now because I'm experiencing 'parental frustration'...frustration with my parents! :o)

Having elderly parents with health concerns and other challenges, saying the last two weeks have left me frustrated would be an under-statement. Just today the Lord has called attention to my actions and reactions in regards to this new season as caregiver - in fact I hope to have a blog post finished by the end of today.

Being a Mom is really hard work, and so is being a daughter. Thankful for His grace and strength in the ups and downs in all these relationships.
Joy

rightfootforward said...

I followed you all the way over here from the daily email from Proverbs 31.

I'm a fairly new mom, my one and only (right now) is almost two, and I already feel like a failure. I 'complain' to the other moms I know...really seeking advice, and they just tell me how easy I've got it, and how good my girl is. And really, she is wonderful, but when she starts throwing tantrums I don't know how to deal with it and half the time I end up throwing one right there with her!! Wonderful isn't it?

I love my little girl, but have never been so frustrated in my life! And, as much as I love my God, and rely on him for so much, I never thought about going to him and crying about my parenting shortfalls. I guess I thought I should already know what I'm doing or something. Anyway, thanks for this post (and today's devotion), they both helped ease my feelings of failure and frustration a little today!

Renee

Julie Gillies said...

Hi Glynnis,

Wonderful, honest post!

I never feel more frustrated than when my priorities get out of whack. When that frustration peaks, watch out!

As much as I love writing, I am currently home schooling my last child, and I need to be sure to keep that first. It can be difficult for me to walk in that balance. Some days I feel pulled but God is faithful. As long as I'm seeking Him, He keeps me on track.

Anonymous said...

Thank you soo much for your testimony Glynnins. I was just convicted last night about my anger with my children, especially my little girl. I am glad to know that I am not the only one who struggles with angry words and tones...

Christy said...

This one hits home all of the time with me. Why is it that we are so easily frustrated? I know that kids continue to do those, what you called "minor" frustrations, but why do they get under our skin so easily? This is one that I battle with all the time, one that the Lord brings me to my knees with a lot... my parenting skills. I want to be the best mother that I can be to my sweet children, one that is patient, kind, filled with joy, and always with a smile from ear to ear... but it just doesn't happen (all the time). I go through spurts where things are really good, my patience seems to be at an all time high, minor annoyances are somehow in the far distance.... and then there are days that I am just ready to blow. Tears well up as I am writing right now because I think it's not only my heart.... but all mothers hearts, to be the best that we can be. I am so thankful that the Lord continues to bring this to the forefront of my mind and heart, because if He didn't I think I'd be a little bit scared. Scared because there would probably be a sense of "I'm perfect... I've got it all under control." So thank you Lord that my heart is still pliable, still sensitive to who you want me to be. Thank you Lord that You bring me to my knees on my childrens behalf. Please Lord, show me if there is any offensive way in me... so that I can confess it and continue to move on to be the woman, mother, and wife you have called me to be. Glynnis, thank you for your heart. For being an open book and sharing what you struggle with , know that I too struggle with the same things. Please visit my blog if you would like to know who I am, and if you would like to see the three wonderful children that the Lord has blessed me with... those three who are so easily joy givers to me... but who also so easily can get under my skin !!!!! ha ha!
christy
www.tennysontalk.blogspot.com

hkudla said...

Wow,
I could have used this a couple of days ago... though where i am at right now, it could have caused me some guilt...
thanks for the reminder to look to God for the grace... and to learn to accept it... give it to myself...
God bless,
Heather

Renee Motley said...

Glynnis,

Thank you for your honesty! I have heard you speak, attended your work-from-home teleconference, and now am reading your devotionals and your blog- you are so honest and that is what we all need to be. We have to be honest and admit our failures and frustrations and give them to God. I struggle with being frustrated easily with my children as well. Please know you are not alone in this at all. I am Reading Shepherding a Child's Heart and it is helping some. But most importantly I have to die to self daily and go to God in prayer over this.

Blessings to you on your journey,

Renee Motley
www.reneemotley.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Hi Glynnis
I live in the Phoenix metro area and we talked briefly at the She Speaks Conference. We've communicated through email a few times, as well.

This posting was so on time for me today. This was a challenging day for me today as a mom. My children's imperfection at times feels so much like a direct reflection of my shortcomings as a mother. There are days when the work that's required to raise responsible adults is so overwhelming. On days like today I remind myself we (my husband and I) either pay now or pay later. I would rather pay the price for raising a responsible adult now when they are home with me rather than later on in life. For now I just pray that my love for them really does cover a multitude of sins - mine and theirs.

Kendra

seesawfaith said...

Everywhere I go and everything I read lately is pointing to me a very large hole in my faith walk.

I have been struggling in my relationship with my son (9 years old) for the better part of a year. I feel completely disconnected from him. I love him, but I don't feel a pull to him.

As God is opening my eyes to His guiding I am finding the fault is resting fully on my uncompromising and distant shoulders.

I have been very frustrated because I don't know how to connect to him and inspire his trust, confidence and respect. Therefore I have been pulling back, yelling, pushing and otherwise doing everything comepletely wrong.

It is so good to know I am not alone, even if people aren't there now, there are so many who have been and God is slowly trickling His support into my life as I continue to open my eyes to HIS purpose.

maryann said...

Boy this devotion is where I am! I don't usually do blogs, but I wanted to thank you for being honest about the frustration you sometimes feel as a mother. I too, get angry over nothing significant, then I am sorry and ask God to help me...and my children to forgive me. Then I lose it all over again before I can blink. I'm learning not to give into the flesh (anger) and let the Holy Spirit guard my tongue before those negative words fall onto my babies. I find if I practice waiting before I speak, the words stay in my head and I have a chance to realize how awful it would have been to say them out loud. I've been struggling with this since my son was born July'07 and I just now am starting to get a grip on it by God's grace. I want to be a better mother who nurtures her children and doesn't scar them with her episodes of anger. I hope my blog helps someone, like today's devotion helped me!

Anonymous said...

My efforts to tame my tongue had been going well until a few days ago. It's amazing how it sneaks up on you when you forget to go to God first! Of course, that's exactly why it did sneak up on me. Thank you for the reminder. I pray I am not a slow learner in this arena!

Kristie said...

With three boys under the age of seven I am a referee as well as mother. It is hard to always be fair and just, and sometimes I feel guilty about that. Thanks for the reminder that grace covers ALL my shortcomings!

Truth4thejourney said...

I can completely relate to this post. Thank you for your honesty. I am praying for you to recognize, and accept God's grace in your life today.

God Bless,
Sonya

Jennifer said...

This blog is so encouraging. I'm basically a new mother (a six year old and a two year old) and I am learning to lean on God for wisdom and strength.

I look forward to reading more of your posts.

Jennifer Barker
http://jennifer-asag.blogspot.com/

Honea Household said...

I am so with you on this. It is SO hard! I find myself being so impatient with my little ones and then I get so frustrated with myself. It really is something that I have to continually keep at the forefront of my heart to respond to their behavior in a loving and kind way.

Mary said...

We are ALWAYS hardest on ourselves! Thankfully, God is understanding...and so are kids!
Blessings!

Anonymous said...

How about remembering all of us who cant have children. We would love to have the chance to experience all this stuff it would be worth it to have such a precious gift as even just one child of our own.

In your frustrations and difficulties please remember us too.

Jeanies Heavenly Treasures said...

Glynnis,
I loved your post about praying for your son (esp). You are talking my language. Both of my sons keep me on my knees! I keep Phil, 4:6 written by my computer. God Bless You Proverbs 31 Women!