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Thursday, July 31, 2008

Today my just-turned-17-year-old son Josh and I did some college visiting. It was really fun for me being back on my old stomping group - Arizona State University. I loved school, and ASU has gotten even better since I was there in the early 80s. There are 4 - count 'em - 4, Starbucks on campus. The school of business even has their own Starbucks in the lobby. That's training for real life if I've ever seen it.

At each stop on our student-guided tour, I got more and more excited about my son attending ASU. I reminisced all the way through (when the guide wasn't talking of course). "That's where your dad and I met for lunch - well actually he was there while I waited somewhere else." (That happened way too often in the days before cell phones.) I pointed out where I worked on the school paper, the building where I took most of my classes, and the fields where his dad played intermural softball but never won a t-shirt. It was great fun.

At the end of the tour I fully expected my son to be as excited about it all as I was. I was ready to register. Him or me. I didn't care which.

You will never believe what he liked best. Not the 250 options for a major. Not the opportunity for advancing his education. Not the free tutoring. Not the computer lab with free computer repair. Not even the really cool student recreation center with state of the art weights and cardio equipment. No. None of that.

He liked the dorm room best.

Huh? (heavy sigh)

So, I guess we'll take it slow. God is still working on this boy, and I need to remember that at 17 I wasn't sure of what I wanted to do either. But Josh does have it narrowed down at least to being a chef, or going into business, or music, or full-time ministry. They are all on his "radar" as he puts it.

I also need to be careful to back up a bit when talking with him. I just keep forgetting he's basically an adult, and needs to make his own decisions. At some point, his dad and I need to move from coach to counselor and I think we are very near that line. Josh loves us so much that I'm afraid we could guilt him into making a decision that would please us more than him.

Yes, we'll take it slow, and I'll ask more questions, than I'll offer advice. Maybe I'll get to know my son better if I'm not talking quite so much. This could be a learning experience for all of us.

In His Love,


LeAnn said...

Can you hear me weeping? Reading about your experience just gave me a glimpse into my ALL TOO NEAR future. I am already trying to prepare myself for the inevitable. Honestly, I just don't believe you or I could possibly be old enough to have teenager. At least we don't look it!

Love you,

Gail W. said...

With one daughter entering junior year at college and another her junior year in high school, I can TOTALLY relate to your dilemma. My oldest daughter and I toured my alma mater, the University of Virginia. It was flashback heaven for me, but I shared your concern that I not impose my journey onto my daughter’s choices. In the end, she blew off UVA after being accepted; she said too many people there looked too hurried and stressed. She’s very happy at her first choice which means Mama is happy also. Hang in there – the fact that you even think about crossing a line into your son’s planning probably means that you won’t.

Anonymous said...

I am crying too. Your post reminded me of what i went through with my three. Your comments were so wise to not pressure and let him talk. I am sure i grew more than my children during this season. And now my oldest is returning to Honduras for a 2nd year as a school teacher. That is what we prepared her for, but still it is not easy. I love your posts- and i was so proud of the overcoming hike you did. What an example you are. You children will never forget it- that's for sure.
Blessings, Diane

Wendy Pope said...

You have one old enough to go to college. I can't believe it!

Sniff. Sniff.

Joyful said...

My son just turned 16 and I'm in
no hurry to see him go off to University, yet, I know it's all part of the process. The next couple of years will go by far too quickly I'm sure. Thanks for the wonderful advice here. Praying the Lord will continue to lead and guide your son.

PS. Have you heard that song, "Find your Wings"? It always makes me cry, but it's message is so true. I pray that God will help my son find his wings and I will cheer as he flies, even though a tear may escape my eyes.

Alyce said...

I regret not being more active while in college. I guess I just didn't want to be there. I wanted to be married with rugrats, oops, children. I went for the piece of paper..only worked for 13 months after graduation, since then, I've been home w/ the kids..now they are going to private school and I am seeking employment. One word for going back to work...YIKES!! Anyway...you sound like you will be a great encourager for your son. I can pray that I will be to when I get to that point.
Is your book "Work @ Home" in stores? I've spoken w/ you before on the topic...I am STILL searching..

Melissa said...


You've been tagged. Visit:


for details!

Love you,

Amy L Brooke said...

Just following up on Melissa's tags. You have LeAnn to thank for it. She tagged me....

Think of it as free flow writing....

Joy in The Truth (Sharon Sloan) said...

Wow, Glynnis! This must be a season filled with mixed emotions for you as a mom!

May his dorm room be a haven and sanctuary as he attends college! Filled with God's peace and precious fellowship. Lots of studying and fun, too!

Truth4thejourney said...

You are so right when talking about moving from coach to counselor. You're son is blessed to have you and your husband. I am sure that God will show you both how to transition into counselor!

It makes me wonder what it must have felt like for the desciples when Jesus ascended and left the "Counselor". It was necessary but a transition, none the less. I am so grateful for the Holy Spirit in my life!

God bless you in your decisions!